The Worst Jesus-Free Review of Portal 2 You Will Ever Read
By Dr. Eleanor Vance | Published on January 01, 0001
If you’re going to review Portal 2, that’s cool with me if you don’t bring up Jesus. Seriously, I’m [[link]] totally okay with that. I reviewed Portal 2 here and I didn’t once mention Jesus, or any other religious figure. It’s a perfectly viable approach. So why would I have a problem with this Jesusless review of Portal 2?(new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); (Note from Kotaku: Tom’s about to spoil Portal 2, ok?) Because the site is called Christ Centered Gamer. I followed a link to the review because I was genuinely curious to read a Christian perspective on Portal 2. Doesn’t a game about an all-powerful being putting her hapless subject through trials resonate with a religion that sees fit to include the story of Job in its bible? Isn’t there a cute analog to the Incarnation of Christ when GlaDOS is made flesh in a potato, tormented by a bird, bereft of much of her power, and brought to a closer relationship with Chell? Do I detect something Christian in Portal 2′s vertical movement, plunged into the depths and eventually reaching into the heavens? Doesn’t Wheatley’s easy descent into cruelty say something about human sin, even if he’s a man-made simulacrum of humanity? Isn’t Cave Johnson about as big a blowhard as Paul? Okay, I’m not really a Christian, so it’s not my job to come up with that stuff, but that’s the sort of thing I’d like to read about. More top stories from Quarter To Three • Should you play Brink or Section 8: Prejudice?“ • From Mortal Kombat to Marvel vs. Capcom: the fighting game game diary • Insomniac falls back to Main Street Instead, I got a review that’s no different from what I could read on a boring ass secular site like Gamespot or IGN. It’s all stuff that may as well be on the back of a box. Not a shred of insight, much less Christian insight. Which is really nothing new. So many reviews are dryly observational, minus any meaningful perspective, or much insight, or even context. I poked around Christ Centered Gaming in
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